Is it normal to have feelings for my ex, considering?

My question is, is it normal to have feelings for someone even tho they obviously were NOT the right person, and now they're married? This guy lead me on to believe that we were getting married...we only dated like 6 months, and he was constantly pushing for marriage from the beginning. The last two months we were together, I gave in and slept with him. Everything was great until he lost his job and dislocated his shoulder in the middle of the night. Then, because of the upcoming medical bills for shoulder surgery, losing his job, etc, he had to move back in with his mom. I had begun to have symptoms of morning sickness, and I told him, but he seemed to not be concerned with it. He said if I was pregnant, it would only bump the wedding date up. Well, he started acting somewhat paranoid when all the stress hit (like, he randomly thought I could be a con artist since we met online), and then extremely OCD (telling me I walked too hard on the floor, that I talked too loud and the neighbors would come over upset, that I was sliding too hard on his truck seat, or that a leather pillow he gave me to lay my head on was not a toy (I'm 30, ok). Then he had his surgery (which he was intensely phobic of) and I stayed with him and tended to him for three days/nights, getting up all night to help him to the bathroom, etc. I was getting extremely tired, and then one night I had a small argument with him in front of his mom about what true worship meant (he said his church did it the only right way, and I was telling him that worship is in the heart, not just what you do on the outside)....and after the argument, he suddenly changed and said he wasn't sure he loved me anymore, and that his mother said the argument meant I would be an abusive wife someday. He waffled back and forth between "I love you, I'm just stressed", and "I don't love you anymore" after that point for like a week. I came over one evening during this time while he was recovering from surgery, and he also said strange stuff like wanting me to MOON him, etc....randomly...I was trying to be really happy, and he told me he felt like he had to be my FATHER. As I was kissing him goodbye that night, he said, "There's a gun under my bed (named the type of gun). I shot a man once, but just in the leg." (??????) Then he kept being weird and having mood swings or something for a few days....he told me we should take a break while he heals from this surgery, that it would take months, and that we should still date, but see eachother less often, like once a month. He was taking medicine when he said this, and was drowsy, so I thought that he didn't know what he was saying. So the next day I saw a sign about Angel Food for people in need, and I thought I could get them some, so I called him and also his mom to ask if they'd be interested, but got no response. So then the next afternoon I still hadn't got any response so I texted him...still no reply. So later that night, I called him to ask if we were still sitting in church together and everything like before, and what was going on (I was still confused), and he was angry with me that I called and interrupted a movie he and his mom were watching and they had to press the "pause" button. :P That angered and hurt me, so I told him it sounded like he didn't even care about our relationship anymore, and it felt like he didn't want to be with me. He didn't answer at first, and then he sighed and said he'd been meaning to tell me, but he was trying to break it off gently. :( So I hung up the phone abruptly and screamed, I was so ticked off. So then, a month or so went by and I gave him time. He never contacted me, but I felt like I had NO IDEA what happened, so I tried to get him to talk by sending him a love letter, pouring out my heart and asking him what happened to the love we had in the beginning that was so beautiful and perfect, and how much I loved him and missed him and did he love and miss me too. So....he wrote back with only ONE sentence: "You can come over at 3 if you wanna". When I got the message, he was online on the messenger, so I talked to him, and in the process I found out he was just trying to hook up with me, basically, for sex. I said he was cruel and told him he didn't deserve to know anything about the baby. I ended up having a miscarriage with all the stress. :( Wrote him some angry letters. Then wrote him an "I forgive you" letter. Never got any reply. Now two years down the road, I suddenly realized I still had feelings. So I contacted him again, asking if we could just talk, maybe be friends. Then I found out that he got married just two weeks before that. :'(